So, this past week I was at a camp. It's a time that I've looked forward to each year since I went to my first one at the age of 14. It's a camp for the youth of the adults who work in the same company my parents do. I'm very close to a lot of the people there. But this time was rather bittersweet. Some of the people who were at my very first camp weren't at this one because their parents had retired. So it was odd. I saw a lot of my friends and yet there were people missing. But I'm kind of glad that this will be my last time as even more people are retiring and some of them have also graduated. But it's made me miss some people even more than I already have been. One of them is my best friend who I haven't talked to in awhile because of time differences. Another is this boy. I have liked this boy almost since that very first camp I attended. It's almost been 2 years since I've seen him. And I don't know why because he wasn't there last year either but after this year's camp I've been missing him more than I usually do. It would just be so much easier if I could just not like him. Unfortunately we can't really pick who our heart chooses to like... at least not after the heart already likes him. Anyways, I couldn't really talk to any of my friends about this because, well, they don't really get it. But I needed to get it off my chest and that is why I got xanga in the first place. So, yeah, this is me sending my feelings out into the web in the hopes that I won't be quite so caught up by them.

ok so i was thinking about modesty, or ,more accurately, the fact that i don't have a lot of it anymore. it's ironic really one of the people who tried to instill it in me is the very person who rid me of it. it all started when we moved to where we're living now. it's very hot here and i am not a hot weather type of girl. i like cold weather, snow, ice and all that good stuff. so i was basically dying here. i was burning up all the time, even in the ac (which is kind of weird but the temperature was set way above my comfort level but you know cost and all that good stuff and it didn't help that the sun shone in my window making it 10x hotter i hate the sun by the way). so i took to not wearing clothes because it was just too hot (plus my clothes weren't really warm weather kind of clothes). now that in itself would not have gotten rid of most of my modesty but my mom has this, in my opinion, horrible habit of walking into my room without knocking (although she does it to my sister too so it's not like it's just me but it's very annoying) and for a while i would reach for whatever was closest to cover myself up but after awhile that was just annoying and i got used to it. the only thing that still bugs me is when she does it when my dad is right behind her 'cause that's just gross. it probably helped that by going around without a lot of clothes on i started to get comfortable with my own body and so didn't really feel the need to cover myself up so much. so yeah basically i'm not as modest as i once was. and it really doesn't bother me.